We’ve seen the television shows about homes with clutter piled so high that the family can barely get from one room to another. We watch in horror thinking that our homes get a little messy, but that we would never let things get that out of control! How did they get like that???
Hoarding is a mental disorder that may require professional intervention. But, what you may not know is there are different levels of hoarding and, if you’re anything like me, you could be heading for trouble and not realize it.
I remember when I made my move from Missouri to Ohio. It was only me and I was living in a one-bedroom apartment. However, I also had a storage locker full of furniture, clothing, and housewares that I had accumulated over 20 years of moving that I had not decluttered. I will never forget when one of the movers looked shocked and said “if you are not a hoarder, you are VERY close“.
He was probably VERY right.
My name is Michelle…and I am a Level 1 Hoarder
My living space and basement have storage that is packed to the hilt. I decided that the weight (and expense) of dragging this stuff around with me for 20 years had to go. As a step in the process of simplifying my life, I’ve started with a category that I know needs some deep decluttering: My wardrobe.
Recently, I counted no less than 452 articles of clothing, not including sleepwear, undergarments, and workout gear! I work from home and live in a one-bedroom house with a bedroom closet that is only 36 inches wide. Every other closet in my house is packed with clothes and shoes. I’m only somewhat socially active and my attire is almost always casual, so I don’t need all of the suits, heels, and fancy garments.
I haven’t decluttered furniture and I have an army of chairs, tables, and lamps sitting in my basement collecting dust (and spiders, too!). My house has blankets and pillows and dog toys strewn about with storage tubs sitting in my dining room and kitchen blocking my path unless I move them. It’s not trashy, but it is messy. I can enter and exit my house easily which puts me at a Hoarding Level 1. However, if I continue on this path unchecked things could easily get worse.
Levels of Hoarding
A hoarding disorder is nothing to be minimized and I’m not doing that here. I haven’t been professionally diagnosed, but the chart at this site gives me a good indication of where I am and where I could end up: https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/hoarding/related/levels-of-hoarding/
- Level 1: Light amounts of clutter. Entryways and doorways are accessible
- Level 2: Pet waste on the floor. Evidence of rodents. Dirty food prep surfaces
- Level 3: At least one unusable bathroom or bedroom. Overflowing garbage cans. Odors in the house.
- Level 4: No clean dishes. Bugs. More than one blocked exit
- Level 5: At least 4 too many pets per local regulations. Noticeable human feces. Rotting food.
Why do we hold onto things we don’t need?
We may hold onto things because they have sentimental value and remind us of happier times or a person we love. We may also hold onto things because we think they have monetary value or that we will use them later.
If you think about it, fear is the problem. It’s the fear of letting go (of a loved one or the past). Fear of a loss of security (things with monetary value make us feel financially secure), or the fear of not having something when we need it. The fear of missing out (FOMO), which is not having something that everyone else has, can also play a part in accumulating these things.
FOMO
Have you ever coveted a great pair of boots your friend was wearing, or just had to have the sneakers you saw on everyone in your Instagram feed? I have. And I’ve spent a lot of money buying things that don’t fit my style, or that I just didn’t need as a result.
My weakness was sales, and convincing myself that I was getting a bargain whether I needed something or not was my M.O. I was afraid of never being able to get a great sale price again. And I didn’t dare part with anything either because I hated the thought of giving something away and regretting it later. The shame of spending a lot of money on something and not keeping it stuck with me too.
Today, I wish I had even half the money I spent on those things. If I had avoided those purchases, I would have tens of thousands more in financial investments instead of a house today that looks like a used furniture store and a clothing resale shop.
How To Stop the Clutter Train
To stop cluttering, first, think about why you keep things. Then come up with better alternatives:
- If you shop out of boredom, find experiential activities to do with friends or loved ones. This will strengthen your relationships as a bonus.
- Do you shop because of FOMO? Invest the money you would have spent on unnecessary things and watch your investments compound. Let others envy you because of your bank account, not a pair of overpriced jeans you’re going to get bored with in six months.
- Keep only one of the most cherished items from a loved one. You’ll still have a memory of them, but you won’t have a house FULL of their things as if they live with you.
- Stick to things that are your own personal style. If you see something that looks great on someone else, it’s ok to like it. But, stop there. Appreciate its beauty….then move on.
Recognizing your reasons why will be the first step to helping you stop.
This article is only my opinion and is not advice for anyone with a serious hoarding issue. If you think you have a serious problem, please seek professional help from a behavioral therapist. There are many online support groups that can help. The Mayo Clinic has a great website with detailed information and helpful resources: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hoarding-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20356062
Have you struggled with decluttering or letting things go? I’d like to hear from you. Share your story in the comments!